I often worry about being monitored in South Korea due to my experiences of surveillance in North Korea. Most people are beaten during the repatriation process to North Korea, especially women who are more likely to be subjected to violence. In North Korea, the patriarchal ideology is still prevalent, making women societal victims. The beatings during transfer from China to North Korea are routine, causing ongoing fear due to past violence. I have pain in my back and legs.
Recently, I'm haunted by past events in my dreams, waking up drenched in sweat. I suffer from headaches and sleepless nights. The stress of the journey to South Korea and thoughts of my family left behind in North Korea weigh heavily on me. Living in China, I lost several teeth due to stress and now suffer from indigestion and frequent stomach pains. Memories of crossing the river and mountains barefoot to avoid capture in China haunt me. I was forcibly repatriated and subjected to brutal beatings and human rights abuses by the Sinuiju security bureau. I wake up multiple times a night due to nightmares and unexplained headaches. My eyes are severely discomforted, but hospitals fail to diagnose the problem. I have pain in my neck, shoulders, and arms.
Being separated from my children causes me constant grief and tears. I suffer from post-traumatic pain in my back, knees, and shoulders. I frequently experience cystitis and have pain in my knees and back.
Concern for my family left in North Korea grows. The stress from surveillance there has led to heart disease and hypertension symptoms. I experience heart discomfort and have issues with my shoulders, knees, arms, and neck.
Memories of torture and beatings at the hands of security agents in North Korea haunt me nightly, preventing sleep. I sleep with the lights on. I was caught by Chinese public security, repatriated, and narrowly escaped a severe hand injury during forced labor. Lack of medical treatment has left me with a permanent disability. I was brutally beaten in jail by Changbai public security, experiencing severe headaches. Despite CT and MRI scans, I have no diagnosis and suffer from headaches, neck, left arm, back, and leg issues.
I've been suffering from insomnia for three days, experiencing anemia and anxiety symptoms, with problems in my shoulders and hips.
Reflecting on the past makes sleep impossible. Trauma from North Korean prisons has severely disrupted my daily life. I suffer from headaches and back pain.
Nightmares keep me awake. I struggle with panic disorder and paranoia, experiencing severe headaches and fear. I have issues with my back, neck, and shoulders.
Panic disorder in crowded places makes life very difficult. I experience cold sweats, pale face, and severe chills. Occasional severe chest pains occur, especially during stress and fatigue. I have pain in my back, neck, legs, arms, and shoulders.
I constantly have nightmares, dreaming of being chased in North Korea. The pain from past torture haunts me, causing headaches and heart pressure. I suffer from headaches, leg pain, and issues with my larynx, back, neck, legs, and shoulders.
I suffer from depression due to leaving my children behind, finding walking difficult, and experiencing memory decline. I have issues with my back, legs, arms, and shoulders.
Other than occasional trembling, I show no significant symptoms.
Depression makes sleeping difficult, and I suffer from headaches and general fatigue. I am tormented by nightmares, experiencing headaches, neck, leg, and shoulder problems.
I suffer from heart disease and headaches due to beatings in North Korea and China, with problems in all parts of my body.
Unable to sleep deeply, I'm haunted by dreams. Physical pain from beatings in North Korean prisons and security departments is present, but undiagnosed in hospitals. I frequently visit the emergency room for unexplained headaches and suffer from nightmares and insomnia. Despite undergoing CT, MRI, and EEG, I have no clear diagnosis. I have pain in my finger joints, wrists, shoulders, back, and overall body pain that's difficult to describe.
I struggle with migraines and have issues with my shoulder.
I suffer from insomnia and anxiety, with arthritis causing pain in my back, legs, arms, and shoulders.
Dreams of being chased and shot by security forces in North Korea haunt me. The trauma of successful escape under a 0.1% chance of survival still causes nightmares and anxiety.
My body remembers the past. Even surveys trigger nightmares. Depression seems to be the biggest issue. I have experienced minor beatings in Chinese border patrol and severe beatings in North Korea for escaping a training camp. Despite being declared healthy, I have pain in my head, back, pelvis, ankles, arm muscles, stomach, and heart.
Torture and forced labor in North Korean detention facilities have resulted in a 2.7cm curved spine. I have relied on sleeping pills for seven years due to nightmares. I dream of my children and sister wandering in shabby clothes in North Korea. Over 10 years later, the memories of being beaten in North Korea and wandering in China still cause immense pain and depression. Without a clear diagnosis, my fingers barely move, and I have problems in my back, legs, neck, arms, shoulders, and head.
I dream of my child and sister in North Korea, wandering the streets in shabby clothes. It's been over 10 years, but I still suffer from severe pain and depression due to dreams of being captured in North Korea, wandering there, and the experiences I had in China. I feel weak, without a diagnosis, and find it hard to move my fingers. I have problems with my back, legs, neck, arms, shoulders, and head.
I experience recurring anxiety and insomnia, along with hypertension, anxiety disorders, depression, and psychosomatic gastrointestinal disorders. Occasionally, severe anxiety keeps me awake at night with intense headaches. I have pain in my back, neck, left knee, wrist, shoulder, and eye problems.
Remembering past events during surveys makes sleep impossible. I feel unwell physically and mentally, longing for a lost home. After arriving in South Korea, I treated depression and removed a duodenal adenoma. I suffer from back pain, knee pain, and osteoarthritis.
My spine is in a degenerative state, with problems in my wrists and shoulders.
I suffer from illness and have problems with my back, neck, legs, arms, and shoulders.
I experience depression and decreased sleep quality, constantly asking others about their experiences of harm in North Korea. Hearing that many have suffered more severe torture and fear saddens me deeply. I often ask when this misery will end and cry for those still detained by Chinese authorities. My health has deteriorated since arriving in South Korea, with no part of my body left unaffected. I couldn't afford treatment for the first five years, and even when I discovered my ailments, economic constraints prevented treatment. After 10 years, my body is too worn out for recovery. Despite no major illnesses, the health of us defectors has severely deteriorated through experiences in North Korea, China, and during settlement in South Korea. I have problems with my back, neck, legs, shoulders, and back.
I dream of being taken back to North Korea or getting caught while briefly visiting. I have memories of being beaten by security forces and training camps after repatriation. I suffer from thyroid disease and osteoporosis, causing leg pain.
Since childhood in North Korea, I've done physically demanding work, and the hard labor continued after defection. Now, I suffer from lumbar disc herniation and arthritis.
Every night, I have nightmares and sweat profusely, dreaming of being chased by Chinese police and North Korean soldiers at the Tumen River. The reality feels like a dream, but my heart is still filled with fear. Although I wasn't beaten or tortured, the insecurity during defection and 24-hour confinement in the mountains by police still haunt me. I'm in a pre-diabetic state with worsening health, having problems with my arms, legs, and shoulders.
I dream of losing my child while being chased by police and search in tears, waking up breathless. I've had personality disorders, insomnia, and anorexia for years after initial entry. I have nightmares, depression, insomnia, occasional sharp pains in my right flank, and unexamined heart pain. I suffer from back, neck, head, tongue stiffness during conversations, and shoulder problems.
I experience heart pain and angina, with problems in my neck and back.
I dream of escaping from North Korea to China and still suffer from nightmares. Seeing a police car makes my legs weak, and I have ongoing heart pain. I have problems with my heart and shoulders.
Time hasn't healed the deep-seated resentment from my youth. I spend nights awake, haunted by the past, suffering from insomnia, anxiety, depression, social phobia, and spatial disorder. From the first day of my arrest by the Dongmen City Public Security Bureau, I was tortured. The torture and mental agony worsened after being handed over to the border patrol. I suffer from cirrhosis, glaucoma, and severe pain in my back, neck, legs, arms, and shoulders. I recently received treatment for my arm but had to stop due to the cost. I can't afford medical care even though I need it. My husband, who was the main breadwinner, succumbed to liver cancer, making our financial situation difficult. I requested emergency assistance from the local office, but support is limited. My health is poor, making social adaptation challenging, and I can't even consider seeking treatment for my ailments.
I have been receiving mental health treatment for about a year for depression stemming from my defection trauma. My heart is in poor condition, suffering from arrhythmia. I still have nightmares about those times, with pain in my back, legs, and shoulders.
I suffer from anxiety, trauma, depression, hives, and constipation. I have problems with my neck and shoulders.
Every time I try to escape being sold into a rural area in China, I wake up from the dream of making no progress. Even in my dreams, I know I'm dreaming, but waking up in South Korea brings me immense gratitude. My fingers often tingle, and the wounds I inflicted on myself with a piece of porcelain from a toilet during a suicide attempt haven't healed properly, causing pain and numbness on cold or rainy days. I also suffer from severe headaches.
To avoid arrest, I jumped from a high second-floor, resulting in the dislocation of all five lumbar discs and barely managing to live with lumbar stenosis. My son has been in a political prison for 19 years, and not knowing whether he's alive or dead causes me immense mental anguish. I was severely beaten by Chinese police before repatriation on suspicion of murder by a Chinese national. The physical weakness I experienced in prison at the time of repatriation still causes shoulder pain. My back and legs suffered as I climbed high to avoid Chinese police searches, falling from a three-story height, causing all five lumbar discs to dislocate. I'm enduring with pain injections.
I dream of going to North Korea and not being able to return, causing anxiety. I'm in physical pain and receiving psychiatric treatment, with problems in my back, neck, and legs.
I'm unable to walk.
Nightmares have caused me a lot of physical pain, and even slight pain now brings back memories of North Korea. I was tortured in a security bureau cell and currently take medication for headaches. I have pain in my back, neck, legs, arms, and shoulders.
The events that happened to me in North Korea at the hands of the security bureau, and those I experienced in China, still haunt me as nightmares. I'm receiving psychiatric treatment. The memories of being caught and beaten by security agents in North Korea persist in my dreams, causing sleepless nights and constant anxiety. I was arrested in 2001 before coming to South Korea and was beaten for three months in a security bureau prison, followed by forced labor in a Chongjin collection center. I suffer from headaches and anemia, with problems in my back, legs, and neck.
I'm currently receiving treatment.
I can't sleep and often wake up suddenly, spending the night awake. I have a strong desire to bring my son's family from North Korea as soon as possible. I suffer from persistent coughing and phlegm, with problems in my back, legs, and neck.
I have nightmares due to the fear of being arrested by Chinese authorities. The stress of the defection process causes headaches, making it hard to read books. When I concentrate, the symptoms of dizziness worsen. I complain of dizziness, with problems in my neck and shoulders.